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Rending the Journey

Updated: Oct 18, 2020

While at this time I could never call myself a shaman, I have taken it upon myself to learn as much as I can about the calling and working with spirits and ancestors. I feel it is something that is closely tied to my calling to Seidr and one of the reasons that I blend it with a path of Druidry.

A typical practice of shamanism is called journeying. Journeys are, in laymen's terms, a meditative state where one leaves the physical realm of their reality and is able to move through the Otherworlds. The use of drumming or rattles in a monotonous pattern mimicking the beating of the heart of the Earth, is what many shamans use to send them into their journey state. Others may blend teacher plants into their practices. Often dancing is involved. I prefer to journey while stationary.

I have a few places that I like to frequent with Yggdrasil, the world tree, being one of them. I love sliding down the trunk with my fylgja at my side (the fylgja is your intuition manifested in a solid form. It has the ability to act on its own will, but will always protect you.) Often I visit my cave. A personal sanctuary where I commune with my spirit guides or mull things over on a deeper level. This is where my journey began today.

I had intended to work with the rune Nauthiz and go over an exercise that Kenn Edwards, the Runewalker, goes over in his podcast. It involves being placed in a room with woodworking tools. You pick them up and some wood, any type you want, and begin to make something. Nauthiz is a rune of need, of friction, confrontation, and succeeding in a goal. Only when I looked over the tools I had to work with, they were not woodworking tools at all, but rather medical tools like scalpels, forceps, sutures, etc. I was confused, and then pointed to another table by my wolf guide. I picked up a log of grey-silver colored wood and began working. I closed my eyes and let my hands do the work. When I had finished, I had carved a doll that looked like an infant girl. I put that down and picked-up a piece of black wood and carved again. This time I created a spider.

I hate spiders. They scare the shit out of me and the last thing I wanted to draw into my journey was this. I have enough journeys with my spider spirit and I'm getting more comfortable with her, but its still a rough journey when she shows.

Feeling confident in the result of the meditation as it gave me things to think about and work with, I left my cave and decided to travel to the base of Yggdrasil and visit Urd's well for some insight on some questions I had about some upcoming events. As I started to travel down the trunk I was told by my fylgja that we should go upward. Upward to Alfheim. I had traveled to Vanaheim the day before that had an amazing experience with Frejya. I decided visiting the realm of her brother Freyr and the elves would be interested and maybe had some insight for me.

The world was beautiful. Lush green valleys, trees, flying contraptions that reminded me of mini airships and blimps, tall grasses, blue skies, and fluffy clouds. My wolf and bear guides joined me and my fylgja as we walked into a darker forest area. Elves and fae moved through the branches and seemed to have no care that I was there.


As I moved further into the woods I came across a thicket of thick and large thorn covered brambles.

In a journey I took a few months ago I was met by Brigid and asked to look over myself and who I was; what I was. During this time I found my surroundings covered by dark brambles and thorns. So needless to say, seeing this again made me a bit uneasy, but not out of the ordinary.


I stopped in my path and looked at my guides and fylgja. My guides had left and my fylgja was starting to back away, which seemed counter productive as they are meant to protect. Before I knew what was happening, a crow had arrived and placed himself on a lower hanging branch. Spider crawled out near him, and I heard a lion roar in the distance. The thorny brambles began moving on their own. They wrapped their thorny tendrils around my wrists, my feet, waist, stomach, neck, and began to move over me. I could feel the pain as my flesh started to rip from my body. They continued to move, encircling my limbs and pulling away sinew and skin, ripping my whole body down to white bone. It was horrifying and I found myself crying and in pain. My spirits watched from a distance.

I awoke in a clearing, still in Alfheim, surrounded by my guides, fylgia, fae, and elves. I was whole again and could see swirling green and yellow energy around my center. My left hand held a red flame and my right held a blue flame. I was wearing brown robes, tattooed with spiral patterns, animals, and rune staves. I slowly came to and was able to get up and look around. Everything seemed calm. I was helped up by my wolf and a fae and handed a staff adorned with feathers, shells, and a blue stone of some type. It was carved with Ogham and runes. I was given a book with information about herbs, flowers, and trees. I was told that these are to be mine again.

At this time I was ripped from the journey as the beat of the drumming meditation music I was using came to a change. I slowly regained focus on this reality. It was a jarring experience to say the least and one that I can't seem to shake, which is why I'm sharing it with you. To this moment, hours later, my legs and arms wont stop itching. My sides and ribs are hurting and feel as if I'd been crushed at one point. It's so strange and surreal.

Dismemberment journeys are not uncommon and are of a healing nature. This one seems to piggyback on some of the messages Freyja gave to me the day prior, as well as one of the rune pulls I had done the previous day.

I'm looking forward to working with the spirits, ancestors, and gods this weekend over the new moon and upcoming holiday.

"Ted, my friend. Strange things are afoot at the Circle K."

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